It's been a while...

It's been a while, to say the least. I made a New Year's resolution to post at least once everyday this year, even if it's just a photo. I know, I know, I already missed two days, but that will lead me into the following year. As you probably already know, a lot has been going on this year. I had Connor, I graduated law school and took the bar exam (which I did not pass), Ry and I had our wedding ceremony and joined the church, and I've been here at home with the wee man. Which has, at times, been trying, but wonderful. And I have been knitting, I'll show you in another post.

Today Connor was baptized in the Methodist Church. He wore Ryan's baptism outfit and a bonnet that my mom made for him yesterday. It was a beautiful ceremony, our pastor has known Connor since he was four-ish months old, and Connor was so calm and at ease with him. He didn't even cry when our Pastor put the water to his head, although Ryan did. He was then blessed and walked around and show to the congregation. Then we were welcomed as new members of the church. It was a very special day for all of us. Ry's parents and sister couldn't make it because of inclement weather, and they were missed. However, because they couldn't make it we decided to share the baptism cake I made for him with the congregation and that was so special to me and to some of our new friends there. All in all it was a lovely day.

In his outfit


The bonnet Mom made


The cake



The baptism

Wow, it's been a while!

Hello! Sorry to have made you all wait for so long for a post. Mommyhood and finishing law school are quite a time suck! There are a few things I want to accomplish with this post the first being that I'd like to get the birth story down, while I can remember most of the details.

At my 41 week check up, my midwife did her usual things and told me that I was still not dilated and that Connor was still at -2 station. I took one look at Ry and, as we discussed I asked if I could be induced, explaining that I had law school finals coming up and I was so tired and swollen and bloated from being pregnant that I was ready. My midwife explained that usually they wait until 42 weeks to induce unless someone requested it earlier than that. She said it was no problem and called the hospital and the other midwife on call. I wasn't expecting to be induced that night, but they had space available so they scheduled me to check in at 7:00pm. Ry and I went home and packed some last minute things into my hospital bag, called K to come up and look after the dogs and we were off. We checked in and at about 8:00pm The on-call midwife, J, came in and explained what they were going to do, firt they were going to put in some cervadil to "ripen" and soften my cervix, and they they were going to give me some prostoglandin (sp?) to put me into labor. J explained that every once in a while cervadil will put a woman into labor, but it rarely happens with new mothers. So she put in the cervadil at about 8:15 and it was to be left in for 12 hours. RY and I chatted and talked about how nervous we were to become parents. The nurses and I told him to go get a stiff drink somewhere, he checked the convenience store across the way to see if they had some beer, but had no luck. When he came back we chatted some more, I got a shot to help me sleep around eleven thirty and then we went to sleep.

At about 3:00am, I woke up and felt a little funny. I kept having this aching pressure that would come and go and it was pretty intense. So I started breathing through it and timing myself. One minute long and about four minutes apart. I was in labor. I didn't want to wake Ry until it got a little more intense so I stayed in bed and kept timing things. The night nurse came in and asked if I was on my cell phone (which is not allowed in the labor & delivery rooms), I told her no, I was timing myself because I thought I was in labor. She smiled, and I think didn't really believe me until I had a contraction right in front of her and then we woke Ry and she went to get J. J checked on me and said that yes I was having contractions and hooked me up to a contraction/heart rate monitor, and things got into gear. RYan was great, he held my hand and reminded me to count and breathe through each contraction. J kept monitoring me, and Connor's heart rate, she kept me on the monitor because she didn't really like what his heart was doing the heartbeat wasn;t reading the way she wanted it to, so she gave me some juice to see if she could perk him up. It worked for a bit and then it went right back to what it was doing. At about 6:00am the contractions were a minute long and only a minute apart and I asked if I could go into the jacuzzi tub. My nurse and midwife got the tub ready and Ry helped me to it. He sat next to me and held my hand when he could (when I could) and talked to me and reassured me...at some point I looked at Ryan and told him I didn't think I could handle it anymore. I was so tired, I hadn't gotten any sleep that night and the night before I had barely slept. I was crying a little at the end of each contraction, I told Ry I felt like I wanted an epidural, but that I felt guilty about it. I had so wanted a natural labor, but I was just too overwhelmed. Ry reassured me and reminded me that it is ok to have an epidural and that if I wanted one and felt like I couldn't handle anymore, then I should get one. SO I talked to J about it and she kept telling me I was doing so well without and to keep thinking about it. it kind of made me feel worse, but then there was a shift change and Midwife P came on...Ry and I talked about it again, between contractions and told P I wanted an epidural. She said fine and I got out of the tub. They still had me on the monitor and did not like what was going on with Connor's heart rate. P checked me too see where I was for dilation and she said I was at about 5 1/2cm, but then my water broke and I was only at 4cm ("but a stretchy 4"). P also did not like what was going on with Connor;s heart rate. It was dipping after each contraction instead of during each contraction and it was concerning them.

So finally the anesthesiologist came down to do the epidural, while he was doing that some nurses came in to do my blood. He was working on my back and this nurse came in and she jabbed my arm, removed the needle part way jabbed it in again and moved it around, meanwhile I'm balling, it was painful what she was doing to my arm and he was hurting me in my back, I was weeping uncontrollably. The nurse working on my arm gave a nasty sigh and said "I can;t get it from her" and looked at the nurse holding me still for the epidural. My nurse told her to come back in about 20 minutes, after the epidural was done. The doc finished up, but not before I had more jabbing in the back and felt blood running down my back. RY kept trying to get me to visualize the grand canyon and our vacation in AZ, but I asked him to stop, I'm not a visualization type person, and I fear I was a little short with him, but Ry was a trooper and took it fine. The doc hooked me up to an automated machine to regulate my epidural and was off. It was sweet sweet relief and I really wanted to take a nap, but P kept talking to me about Connor's heart rate, and then after about a half hour or forty-five minutes I mentioned that I could feel a pinch when I was having a contraction, then after a little bit I could feel a little cramp. Right around that time she called the anesthesiologist to come down and give me a little button to deliver more meds if I was uncomfortable, so another doc came down and did that. After that P had talked with the OB and they decided that due to my lack of progression with dilation and Connor's heart rate, I should have a c-section. They talked and explained to both of us and Ry and I said we would do whatever was best for Connor. Our focus was on our ultimate goal of having a healthy baby. So we agreed to a C-section. Those pinches and cramps I mentioned earlier? It became full-blown labor contractions. I kept pressing that little button that was installed, but ti wasn't working. P kept calling for an Anesthesiologist to fix it, but since we were going into the OR, no one was really in a rush to fix it. BY the time they wheeled me into the OR I was shaking with contractions and felt like I needed to push. When I got in the new Anesthesiologist checked the machine I was hooked up to for the epidural and it turns out it was broken and not delivering any medicine, that why I could feel the contractions again. Anyway he administered the c-section meds and numbed me from the chest down, they set up the sheets around me and the Ryan came in. He sat with me and held my hand and then P told him to come see Connor being delivered. the moment I heard his little wail, I started crying. i remember thinking "How is the Doctor going to stitch me up? I'm shaking so hard with my crying!" Finally, after he was weighed and cleaned I got to see him. It was the best moment of my life. (I mean aside from marrying Ry, obviously)

It took me about four weeks to come to terms with the fact that I'd had major surgery. Ryan, my mom, my MIL, everyone kept telling me that, but I just could not get it through my head. I was a little sad that things didn't go the way I'd wanted. i wanted a natural and normal childbirth, but I'd caved and had an epidural and then had to have a C-section. One of my midwives, R, told me that it was natural to grieve a little for having that option of childbirth taken away from me by having to have a c-section. In all though, I recognize the fact that I got exactly what I wanted a happy, healthy, beautiful baby boy. I couldn't be happier.

Baby's room

So we've been trying to finsh things up around the house before the bambino arrives, the first thing that we finished was the baby's room. I sewed up some black gingham curtains and loaded up the shelves organized the clothes by size, etc. Ry painted the room and assembled the furniture and we together we got it finished about a week or so ago. So here are some pics of the room.






The dogs love hanging out in there, I think it's their favorite spot in the house!

Meanwhile, I'm STILL pregnant and am really wishing that this little boy is not late. We'll see, but I am so done, lugging this extra weight around is no fun! I am also really looking forward to the next phase, so hopefully he'll pick up on the fact that his new place is so much better and more fun that his place now, and he'll join us sooner rather than later. In the meantime, here's a pic of my almost 39 week baby belly:



Huge, right? To be fair I took the picture with my camera that's built in to the Mac, and I was reclining, but I'd say it's pretty accurate for size.

Hello Again

Well, hello there. I'm sorry it's been so long, a lot has been going on since I last posted. First, I was, in fact, laid off from work. So I spent much of February finishing things up for work and getting all my files in order for the people that will be taking on my workload. All in all, despite most of the people there, it wasn't a bad job. I enjoyed the work but not the various and sundry people that i worked with. The was The Pervert Sleeper (he liked to take naps at his desk and look at porn, before they put the regulators onto the internet system), The Butt Shaking Nail Clipper (he liked to shake the rug out in front of the receptionist by bending over at the waist and shaking his behind at her while straightening the rug, and he clipped his nails everyday at his desk), there was Dog Breath (his breath smelled as though he munched on dog feces while sitting in his office) and of course there was Useless (a woman who was employed there solely because of her brother's pull, because she is in fact completely useless and has no idea how to work or what to do, she's only there an hour a day to eat her lunch and then she goes home). So it will be a complete joy to not have to ever be near those four again!

I also had my baby shower, hosted by my MIL and SIL. They did an absolutely wonderful job and really went out of their way to make it nice. The food was amazing my SIL prepared a lot of the apps and I believe she and my MIL prepared the lunch. A good friend of the family made cupcakes (the only thing I asked for), and they were perfection! Tasty little pieces of heaven! So here's a few pics of the shower:






We received a lot of really lovely gifts and it was a wonderful time.

I also finished the Baby Surprise Jacket by EZ. I think I already told you that? Did I? Well, in any event I actually finished it, I blocked it, sewed buttons on and did a crochet edge to make it look more finished. it ended up being Newborn size so the baby will only be in it for about a half second if what every one tells me is true. It looks fine, I just found it to be a terribly boring and unenjoyable knit. Either way,here's a pic of it:



I'm going to finish this post with a belly shot, mainly because my heart's not really into blogging today, I've been sick with a cold and Sam the Dog is really bothering me to play with him. So here's the belly:

Query

Why are there so many books, articles, Internet sites devoted to how you should let your baby sleep? I'm not talking about the "never let a baby sleep on it's tummy" kind of directions. I'm talking about the let your baby cry it out, put your baby on a sleep schedule, never let your baby cry it out, wake and feed your baby every 2-4 hours, co-sleep, don't co-sleep kind of crap. What the heck IS all of this? Why does every need all these instructions? Can't we just do whatever is convenient? I doubt that using a reasonable method that works for us is going to seriously mentally damage our child. Something in me thinks that perhaps John Wayne Gacy's issues can not, in fact, be traced back to the fact that he slept in his parents room until he was 8 months old or that Son of Sam was allowed to cry it out and that caused him to become a serial killer. I mean, really, do we need a book for every little thing? Can't we just get a book for the hard stuff that you probably wouldn't just naturally figure out? Like how much tummy time a baby should have and when to start, or when exactly do they start solid foods? Those things seem so much less intuitive than figuring out a sleep method that works for you & your baby. Perhaps it is just me, maybe it will be harder than I think when I have my baby, but I think the sleeping thing (aside from being sleep deprived), should be relatively low on the totem pole of difficult baby-rearing techniques.

Apple Picking and Bun Baking

I told Ry a while back that I really wanted to go apple picking. Having lived mostly in the south and southwest, this is not something you participate in as a child, so I thought 'when in Rome...' and told Ry many times over several weeks that I wanted to put apple picking on our weekend agenda. Finally, I had a little let up in my school work and Ry was feeling less allergenic so we decided to go. I can't remember the name of the farm we went to, but it had a little stand with veggies and fruits and an inner store serving sandwiches and selling apple cookbooks and apple based goods as well as a deli with pork products from a nearby farm. It was all very quaint and very cute. I felt like those new yorkers that go the the general store in Baby Boom, kind of obnoxious, kind of admiring. The way it works there is that for something like $18.00 you get a bag and get to fill it to the top with your apples. So we got our bag and I commented to Ryan "Wow, that's a little pricey for apples..." and we went across the street to the orchard. There were so many trees at the beginning of the orchard that were just picked clean, as we went down the rows we saw trees with tons of apples, but they were all at the top and out of reach.


We got down a little further and finally there were some apples both of us could reach, so we started merrily picking away. We deftly avoided obnoxious college kids, annoying pre-teens and weird parents with kids named Kennedy and Reagan that refused to behave. We had a nice conversation with a man from Ohio about African Lady Beetles (thanks mom) and saw some cute families that had the apple picking process down. (Older kids climbed the trees for the top most apples and the little ones in carriers got to reach for apples at a grown-up's level.) Ry and I had a lot of fun and filled our bag to near overflowing before deciding to call it quits.

We put the heavy bag into the car and went into the farm stand for a sandwich and soda, both of which were thoroughly enjoyed. Then we headed home. When we got there the bag was so heavy I asked Ry to take it in for me and set it on the counter. It was only then that I noticed the bag is a half bushel size! I remember thinking to myself that a half bushel seems like a lot of apples so I looked it up, a bushel of apples weighs about 48lbs. We have TWENTY FOUR POUNDS of apples at my house people! I have made apple bread, apple muffins, apple crisp, apple sauce, I have been eating an apple everyday and I still have half the bag left! My Gramma suggested that perhaps if I parboil them I could freeze them , which I still have to look into, and I suppose, I could make some pies and freeze them for Thanksgiving. Still...that's a whole lot of apple. Next year I'm getting a smaller bag or I'm getting some basics so that I'll be able to can some apple sauce.

In other news, Ryan and I got married. Well, we eloped to be precise, with a wedding ceremony and reception tp follow for September of next year. There were a number of reasons we did it, the first was we just wanted to be married already, another was that he needed health insurance and we couldn't afford to not have it or to individually cover him through the state's insurance and that was the only way to get him on my insurance and finally when we were thinking about getting married in Mexico it was recommended that we marry before hand because the process for legal marriage in Mexico is very intrusive, expensive and ridiculous.

Now that I've got your head spinning a little, the other big news is that we're expecting a baby on March 31st.

It's okay, sit down, take a breath, I understand how you feel. This is a lot of information to digest.

I am 18 weeks along this week and starting to show.
(See? That's my bump.)

The first trimester was filled with nausea but no vomiting (thank the Lord) and I now have a well developed aversion to chicken. Not turkey, not duck, just chicken...and greasy food. I crave oranges like you'd not believe and fruit is my new best friend. (I love it!) I'm also not digging sweet desserts or any junk food. We decided on this wonderful place for prenatal care and will be going to their birthing center. I am so pleased we are using a midwife instead of the awful ob-gyn my doctor referred me too. The midwives take the time to get to know Ryan and I, and every time we go in there they are all smiling, pleasant and happy to be at their place of work. Such a change from the other place we went to, where they barely answered my questions and gave me a copy of a diet for pregnant women with heart and blood pressure problems (I have neither). The diet basically said all I could eat was boiled chicken and steamed broccoli with a dessert of air-popped unbuttered popcorn. Yum! So we heard about Cooley and decided to try them out. I've never been happier. Everything is progressing nicely and I have another appointment this week. It's absolutely shocking to think I'm going to be a mama soon. I barely feel capable of being an adult!

So, that's how things are going. I'm still attending law school and I still intend on finishing in May and taking the bar in July. It will be challenging, but so is everything worth doing. Well, that's it. That's my news. I'll probably start a baby blog for the out of town family & friends to keep up with, perhaps I'll start it by Christmas, we'll see how the demands on my time are. I may just keep putting baby updates and pictures here rather than a new blog. We'll see how things go.